thinking about something

I got a headache this morning, so of course I had an excuse to lie in bed and not need to do anything . I woke up until 11:00 AM, and before that time I wasn't sleeping, I was thinking about something that I did not think and would not think before. It's said that people become weak not only in their body but also in their heart when they are ill. That's true. I felt lonely and hopeless ,just as I was standing in a desert ,alone. I cried , shouted, but no one replied. I was so scared.
What did I think?
My unknown future. I am junior now, one year later I will graduate from university.Then what will I do? Continue higher education, or hunt for a job? Frankly speaking, I am not ready to be involved in the society , I still need practising. It's a hard change from a student to a working person.Besides, it's difficult for a university graduate to find a satisfying job in modern society. Sometimes you may find a job in an unfamiliar field which is not relevant with your major in university . That means you must give up your favorite major if you want to eat . My mother is a judge, so she wanted me to study law and become a lawyer in the future. But to her disappoint, I chose English as my major instead. I liked English since I was a little girl. I would regret if I didn't follow my heart. But now I found it so difficult for an English major to find a job , and perhaps I would have to disobey my heart and think about my mother's advice.To make a choice between what you like and what you need is really a difficult thing.
I am in the dark now.